It's Time

I don't really have a topic for today's blog. It's been a tough couple weeks. I am finally feeling like my head is coming out of a dark thick fog. I have to admit, it feels so much better.

I would be very ungrateful if I didn't thank my fantastic parents, husband, and other family members who prayed for me and checked in on me.  Their love was the constant light in my dark days. I also should thank two of my dearest friends who had to make some tough choices. I'm grateful they loved me enough to take action. I'm also thankful for many other dear friends and their support. And finally I am thankful for my dear mentor, Jess.  Her experiences helped me feel understood and not so alone.

So now what?  I am working with a therapist again after nine long months of trying to basically be tough and do this on my own. I'm still not thrilled about going to see someone new. I don't like change. It's also a very different environment than what I experienced in South Carolina. However, it's time. It's time I finish learning how to deal with this monster.   It's time to accept that my family doesn't need perfect, they just need me.  It's time to give up a little control so I can have real control.  It's time to change my thoughts so I can change my world. It's time to befriend myself. It's time to let my inner gangster out to bust this eating disorder right in the teeth. I will still get tired. I know there will be discouragement. Mountains and valleys will fill the path I must travel. But it's time to allow faith to overcome fear and hope to overcome despair. It's time!