Learning to See

Every day I use my eyes. From that first glance at the alarm clock in the morning, to the last sleepy glance at the shadows in my room at night. The amazing Helen Keller stated, "Of all the senses, sight must be the most delightful."  I've stood on a mountainside and beheld the beauty of the changing leaves of the fall in their fiery glory. I've admired beautiful palace gardens through out Europe. I've scrutinized my new babies from head to toe, trying to remember every detail. I've spotted people in need and rushed to help. I've poured over books filled with words that transport me to other times and places. I've observed my children playing happily (and sometimes not so happily) together. I've watched my friends laughing while enjoying comfortable friendships. I've spied on a herd of deer crossing a river on a cool crisp morning.
Yes, sight is delightful!  All of these, I've seen with my eyes.  My eyes work just fine...well, with a slight imperfection easily corrected by glasses. However, I've realized that my accurate vision (with or without glasses) falls short of 20/20 in one regard...when looking at myself. The same eyes that lovingly watch my kids, that admire my friends, that take in all the beauty of nature...those same eyes do not see the truth about me. I can not trust my eyes when they scrutinize my reflection in the mirror. Shannon Alder explained it best when she said, "Often the truth is in front of your face, but your eyes are so full of lies that you can't see it."  This problem is very confusing. On one hand what they see is true and beautiful.  On the other hand they see a false ugly distorted view. This is saddening, tormenting, and caustic. It's part of having an eating disorder...eyes that see fine, except when looking at ones self.
How can this issue be corrected?  Not even rose colored glasses can fix this problem. However, there are some steps to help correct.  The first step is simply realizing and acknowledging that your eyes don't work when seeing you!  Once you know this you can move on to the next step, which is challenge what your eyes see in you. Just like you stopped believing that kid in the 3rd grade who lied all the time (I mean how many weekend in a row can his family go across country to DisneyWorld?), you have to learn to stop believing what your eyes tell you. Finally, learn to see with your "other eye".  Rumi, a brilliant Persian theologian said, "Close both eyes to see with the other eye."  Some might call it the third eye or inner eye.  Others might refer to this as chi or soul. If you are a Star Wars fan, you might call it the force. I like to think of it as my heart. "
"A person who only sees with his eyes and not his heart misses the details of beauty." (Evie Fritz). This is the tender "eye", the "eye" that is kinder and gentler. It's easy to use this eye while viewing others.  It's the eye that lovingly watches a sleeping child even though 30 minutes ago that child had flooded the bathroom. It's the eye that still looks at a person as a friend even though they inadvertently hurt your feelings yesterday. It's time to train this eye to look at yourself.  Learn to see! "After all, the true seeing is within."  (George Eliot)