Acceptance

I feel good. No, I feel great!  I feel stronger and happier than I have in a very long time. I feel like myself again. Only, a different me. (Does that even make sense?) I feel like I have better control over my mind and thoughts and emotions. I'm not perfect and I never will be. Surprisingly, I'm ok with that.

So after discussing my discovery of feeling great and mentally healthy and strong, my mentor, Jess asked what got me to this place. I thought about it a lot. I think there are several contributing factors that I could thank for getting me to this point. However, I have to give a big standing ovation to a tough but very helpful skill my therapist Landry taught me. Thank you "reality acceptance"!

For those of you who have never heard of "reality acceptance" before, let me briefly explain to you how this tool has helped me get through my rough times. Basically, when things are hard or rough, I mentally acknowledge that things are hard and give myself permission to feel whatever feelings are associated with it. Then if I don't like the situation I can move to change it.

Let me share with you an example. The place I go to therapy is pretty intense. Part of the check in process is weighing in when I visit my therapist each week.  I don't ever see the numbers, but it still caused me big time anxiety. All week I'd worry about what the scale would say. I'd try planning my wardrobe around weighing, picking out the clothes I felt were the lightest. I would get very anxious before every appointment. I even considered stopping therapy because I hated weighing in SO much. But once I learned about acceptance, I went right to work and decided to use it on this weekly cause of anxiety and unhappiness. I basically sat myself down and gave myself a little pep talk. I reminded myself that weighing in weekly takes all of 3 minutes and then it's over. I've never been fussed at or belittled for the number on the scale. It is simply a measuring tool to determine my over all health and recovery. It's only 3 minutes!  Yes, it's scary and makes me anxious. That ok. However, it's only three minutes!  After it's over, I am fine!  So accept that it's uncomfortable for those three minutes, but there is no reason to fret and worry about it all week!

That's it!  I accepted that it's hard and uncomfortable for me to weigh every week. By validating my feelings I'm stronger and more able to move past it. I can't change it and I still get anxious right before I weigh in, but I remind myself that it's ok to feel that way instead of beating myself up and working myself up into a full blown anxiety attack.  Then I give myself the three minutes it takes to weigh in to be uncomfortable and then I move away from that worry and don't allow it to hold me down.

It's so basic and simple.  Its also very gentle and nurturing. Instead of being harsh and judgmental with my thoughts and feelings, I am learning to accept them. There is no pushing uncomfortable feelings and experiences away. It's all about accepting and then being strong and moving past it.