Eating Disorder 101

Every time I move somewhere, or visit somewhere new, I always enjoy researching about the area.  I love reading about the history of places. In addition, when I become curious about a topic I read and read about it until I am satisfied with what I know. I guess you could say I'm a big nerd. I'm ok with that!

After coming to terms with my struggle with an eating disorder, I knew the best way to beat it and recover would be to learn as much as I could about it. So today's post is Eating Disorder 101 based specifically on my experience with anorexia.

The first thing people should understand about an eating disorder is that is a very serious illness. It is NOT something people can just stop. It is not a phase or a way to get attention.  It is a horrible sickness.  Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any physiological disorder. As much as 20% of those who develop anorexia will die from it.   It's serious!

Eating disorders are about more than food and eating. For me, anorexia was a way for me to feel in control and powerful. The irony is, eating disorders eventually make you weak and very out of control, but the disease clouds your vision and tells you you have control!

With that said, it's also very much about food!  I thought about food excessively. I collected recipes and loved to look at cookbooks and food blogs. I even cooked and baked like crazy. My friends and family benefitted, but I never ate it. I was constantly bringing food to other people; whole meals sometimes.  I remember making this huge yummy dessert for a church picnic and not eating a single bite. Everyone loved it, I left with an empty dish and the mistaken feeling that I was stronger than wonder women because I had not taste a single bite of that dessert.

An eating disorder is a voice in your head. I know this sounds weird, but there was honestly a voice in my head telling me what I could and couldn't eat, when to exercise, when to weigh. And my weight was the guide to how good I was; losing weight meant I was doing ok, staying  the same was bad, and gaining was out right failure.  The voice was brutal! But I did what it told me! It was like being enslaved by the voice in my head.

Weight loss isn't the only physical change from an eating disorder. My hair was breaking and falling out at an alarming pace. I also was cold all the time. I wasn't able to sleep through the night.  Most alarming was the fact that I frequently experienced heart palpitations.  I was always tired and often felt dizzy. I was present in my life, but I wasn't living it.  I spent more time in my head with the voice than I did with the people and experiences around me.

Finally, eating disorders take a lot of time and work to recover from. Some days I feel strong and like I have the eating disorder behind me. Other days I feel like I'm fighting a war of attrition with no end in sight. It's on these days that the love and support of my husband, family, and my dear friends becomes a proverbial lighthouse in the turmoil of my storm.

I could write much more, but I should save some material for my next class!  :) Eating disorders are very isolating and difficult to overcome because they are so misunderstood.  Knowledge is the key!  If you know someone struggling with an eating disorder, hug them a little tighter. It truly is hell!