Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Eating Recovery Day

Today is eating recovery day.  My FB feed has been filled with live broadcasts, sobering statistics, inspirational quotes, and personal stories. It's times like this that I don't feel alone or like "that women with an eating disorder".   Because I've always done out patient therapy I've never felt the support of being a part of the eating disorder community. But social media has changed that. 
Today, also thanks to social media, I got a flash back picture from several years ago. It was from a 5K I participated in with my sweet sister in law and two of our dear friends.  This was during a massive struggle with my eating disorder. As I looked at myself in the picture I immediately noticed how different I looked physically from the image in my mirror today. And of course, the negative thoughts and mental body shaming started almost at once.  
Lucky for me, I had a tool I learned in therapy recently ready to try out. I challenged those eating disordered thoughts right then in that moment. What that picture doesn't show is how very sick and mentally unwell I was on the inside.  So instead of focusing on how I looked I thought about how much better mentally I am today than I was in that picture. 
I'm still working towards recovery. It's not a quick fix but a process. Some days are easier than others. But today on the official Eating Recovery Day, I am grateful for the opportunity I had to use a tool from therapy to combat ED thinking. I'm also so grateful for my family, close friends, and therapists who have helped me on my recovery journey. One year I will proudly celebrate this day fully recovered and stronger than ever. 

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