This Chick

When it's time to hatch, the little chick faces its first adversity.  Breaking out of its protective shell of 21 days is no small task.  The little chick works and struggles. Finally, it's free. However difficult the challenge is to leave its safe haven of a shell behind, any aid or assistance only weakens the chick. It must overcome this obstacle on its own in order to become strong and healthy.

In our own lives we too face adversities, struggles, challenges, and obstacles. Sometimes we face these with others. But often we face them by ourselves.  It is during these times we are truly tested.

As I have struggled to overcome my eating disorder, I've pondered extensively the age old question, "Why me?"  I've felt punished. I've felt abandoned. I've felt alone. I've felt very afraid.  But recently I was reminded of how a little chick must struggle to free itself from the shell or risk weakness and death if anyone intervenes.  I thought of other animals that have similar struggles...sea turtles, butterflies...humans.

Despite always loving my Heavenly Father, I found myself feeling almost betrayed or abandoned by Him. Why me?  Why was I cursed with this horrible affliction?  I try to do what's right and live a good Christ-like life. I'm not perfect, but I do try. So, why saddle me with this burden I feel is too much to bear?

I thought of the story from the book of Mark in the New Testament. Jesus and His disciples were out on a boat. The Savior fell asleep and a large powerful storm came. The disciples were very scared.  They felt the ship was sure to be swallowed by the angry waves, yet the Savior slept on. They waited till they felt they could wait no longer and then woke the Savior and questioned "Carest thou not that we perish?"

I often echoed their same sentiment.  Didn't my Father care this illness was destroying me?  Then, I was reminded of the chick, and a light bulb clicked on in my head. This realization completely changed the way I looked at my eating disorder. I wasn't a victim. I was given a challenge.   James E Faust said, "Into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful. The thorns that prick, that stick in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives which seem robbed of significance and hope. This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process."

I'm done feeling victimized.  No longer do I feel punished. This is my challenge and I will rise to it!  I am not alone.  Just like the Savior calmed the sea for His frightened disciples, I know when I've learned the lesson I'm supposed to learn, I will have calm waters ahead.  This chick is busting out of her shell with more "faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength"!