Change by any other name...

Change!   Alter!  Modify!  Vary!  Transform!  Adjust!  Shift!  Amend!  Change!

Change by any other name is just as distasteful to me.  I really hate dislike change!  (My mom told me never to hate!)  So, imagine how tough the last few weeks have been for me as I sent my last “baby” out into the world of public education!  For the past eleven years I have been a stay at home mom.  I have had a kid (or kids) next to me, beside me, and even on top of me nearly every day for the last eleven years.  And, to be honest, I LOVED IT!  Well, most of it.  Yes, some days, life as a stay at home mom was not glamorous or even fun.  (One word - PUKE!)  However, I really like my kids and I do really enjoy being with them.  Now, I have over six hours all to myself. 

Alone!  Unaccompanied!  Solo!  Hold the onions and the kids!  Abandoned!  Deserted!  Alone!

Not that I didn’t know this was coming.  I’ve known this was coming for the past six years.  I knew it was coming when after my third child the doctor told me in his best soup Nazi voice “No more babies for you!”  Really, there was nothing I could do.  But I thought – six years is a long time.  Oh, I was so wrong about that!  It seems to have passed in the blink of an eye.  Where did the time go?  Like sands through the hour glass, so are the days of our life!  I tried to stop it.  I begged my kids to stop growing up.  I even bribed them!  But, NOOOOO!  They just had to keep growing.  I even offered to home school all of them so I wouldn’t have to be alone!  Well, here I sit alone, writing this soliloquy, so I guess you know what their answer was!  I should be glad.  I should be proud.  I’ve raised my kids to be independent, to stand on their own two feet.  But, what do I do now?

Change!   Alter!  Modify!  Vary!  Transform!  Adjust!  Shift!  Amend!  Change!

There are those distasteful words again!  CHANGE!  Ughh!  Maybe it is time to make some changes.  No, not change – revolution!  I need to revolutionize who I am.  Of course I am still a mom!  (I’m grateful I will never get fired or laid off of that job!)  What do I want to do with the REST of my life?  What can I do?  In my life B.C. (Before Children) I was a teacher.  I taught school because I love kids!  I loved making a difference in their lives.  I loved watching that light bulb go off when they got a concept.  However, there were some aspects I did NOT love about teaching.  Should I go back to teaching?  What to do?  What to do?  Maybe it’s time to start chasing some of my own dreams.  Maybe it’s time to reflect on how I want to leave my mark – what legacy I want to leave behind for my children and grandchildren.  Here I go!  Look out world – it’s the revolution of a stay at home mom!